Swamp Thing

So tonight me and the kids are enjoying some take & bake pizza and I started reminissing (is that how you spell it?) I dated a guy who had to have pizza and rootbeer every friday night. My most embarassing moment happened with this guy. He was a skater and he used to make out with my best friend all the time. I take that back I think they made out like twice...any way I was going to have a picnic with him at this romantic park where there is a lake with a little waterfall and ducks to feed. I had borrowed my friends clothes because I had spent the night at her house. PLus she had made out with him so I figured those clothes worked for her why not me? SHe was a skater chick and I wasn't used to the baggy pants with the crotch between your knees. So here we are at the park walking towards the lake/waterfall. There was a 3 foot high rock wall that wrapped around the pond and big boulders that made their way across the pond. In my moment of brillance I thought I know what will really impress him I'm going to jump up onto the wall and jump across the boulders to the other side. WHat I didn't take into account was the low crotch that didn't allow for much movement. As soon as i jumped the crotch caught me and turned me upside into the water! I was now doing a hand stand trying to save the last but of dignity I tried pushing myself up only to slide fully into the water and roll down the waterfall. The waterfall helped to collect all of the duck poo in one area...right where I was. I came up out of the water covered in make-up and duck poo and my date made me ride in the back of his truck the whole way home...which was to his home not mine for some reason...He let me shower at his moms house and gave me some clothes...not the high light of my dating career. Good thing I was a little more gracefull when I met Troy

I'm dreaming of a white christmas

Could it really be true? Am I really trying to talk Troy into moving to.....UTAH?@!??
I think I want the slow pace that Utah life brings but do I really want the Utah mormons that it brings as well? I can't figure it all out tonight but I think I am dreaming of a white Christmas....

His Hands....

Dear Troy's Sisters,
I am giving you fair warning to stop reading any farther on this post as it might cause your stomachs to turn queezy...Troy came home yesterday with his hands covered in blisters and had a huge gash in them and yet he woke up early again to go to work without complaint. How can I not say something?

These hands of his once embarassed to touch my skin because of a stupid girl who criticized their roughness...have become the most beautiful hands on the earth to me. Blisters and a large gash cover these hands from days of strenuous labor in the hot sun to provide a roof over my head and time during the day to be the one my children come to to kiss their boo-boos. I've watched these hands play tea parties and have picnics. Never are these hands to tired to play with his adoring kids. These hands have wiped away my tears when I feel unattractive or scared. These hands have made me breakfast in bed and played with the kids so I might sleep in. Best of all these hands have made me feel so proud when I am the one holding them. May these hands never feel embarassed because they have produced 1 hell of a MAN!!!

I hate computers

Ok I hate computers I don't know what just happened but I took a bunch of pictures so I can add them to my blog I walked out of the room and when I came back in there was a box that said all your photos have successfully been deleted...WHAT?!?!? I have no clue what to do. I don't speak or read geek so even calling my brother to help me is no use. He starts talking geek to me and I zone out. Really I should be banned from computers. A couple weeks ago I tried to pirate some music for my mom (my first mistake I admit) anyway I ended up downloading a virus that wipes your computer clean. My moms poor husband had been working on their taxes for weeks...I think I was cut out of the will for that one!

30 Day Challenge

So my adoring fans have been giving me crap for my terrible blogging skills. Apparently I need to write more. That's it you've done it. I am now going to give you way more information about me than you ever could imagine. I am going to blog everyday for 30 days....hopefully I can keep you entertained. Which really is the reason I take a hiatus from blogging. I want to be funny when I write and have things to say so we'll see how it goes..

I do want to write about my little Kalaya so I can keep this like a journal entry. I have a big mural (really just a butterfly and sky tattoo covering up an ex husbands name and not so well by the way) on my lower back. Side note: I got my ex's name when I was 19. I was so proud to come home and show my older brother who had a lot of tattoos and was just coming back to church. When I showed him what I had done I'll never forget his reaction. He had a game in his hand and he threw it against the wall and started to cry which wasn't the reaction I expected. He told me "you have no idea what you just did. When I was in the presence of the Lord I wanted to rip my skin off and hide. I was so ashamed of my skin" my brother was not going to church for a good 12 years of his life and miracously came back. I knew something special brought him back but this is the only clue he has ever given to his sacred experience and we have never talked about it since. I still thought it was an over reaction. I never regretted getting my cover-up and never thought about removing it but never forgot his words. Flash forward to looking at my Irelynn with pen tattoos drawn on her beautiful clean skin. I knew what my brother was talking about. Her once clean beautiful skin was ugly and discolored and at that point I knew what I had to do...BRAIN WASH! I tell my kids all the time that my skin is ugly because tattoos are ugly and they have such pretty skin. I thought the brain washing was going pretty well until this conversation with my 2 yr old:
Kalaya: Whats that on you back?
me: Mommy was a bad girl and made her skin all ugly but I wish I had pretty skin like you
Kalaya: I a bad girl
Me: No you are a good girl with pretty skin
Kalaya: No I a bad girl I hate my dad I need a tattoo...

I'm praying that we both make it out alive in her teenage years!

Spunk

So I love that my girls new hair do's totally fit them. Irelynn feels like a super model in her cute new A-line. When we were driving in the car this was our conversation:
Irelynn: Now that my hair is cute people will start bring me things
Me: like what kind of things
Irelynn: like food and toys and stuff
We are still waiting for those items to be delievered by her adoring fans...As for Kalaya her do totally is spunky to match her personality. She has recently taken to singing whenever she wants to back talk me because in song form it's not as bad?!?!? example
Kalaya: I want my little bubba (bottle)
Me: I already told you it's dirty
Kalaya: (this time in the form of a song) No my little bubba not dirty you go wash it you toilet...
Even though she called me a toilet it didn't sound bad because it was a good tune!

p.s. Danielle that gym comment was funny and the answer is next week and Ellie I require that my best friends stay longer than 30 min at my house at a time so shape up

And I'm back

My long awaited return to the blogging world has finally happened! I wanted to blog about my Hawaii trip in April which was AMAZING and crappy all in one but I was too mad at my sister at the time since I didn't want to say anything mean I said nothing and then I got busier and busier and finally boring-er and boring-er. Okay so I know those aren't words but that's how I would've said it out loud. Summer has been so fun but I am glad to start school in 2 weeks. We went to Utah and stayed with my best friend Amber although she did tell me all about her neighbor and how they were best friends and how she would chose to hang out with her over anyone and how she moves on from old relationships from her past so maybe we aren't best friends? I just think the conversation didn't come out the way she was intending to and it was in no way relfected towards me is at least what I tell myself... So ladies I am on the market for a new best friend! Then we stayed with my brother and sister in law and had a great time skating at my bro's skate park,hiking and relaxing in the hot pots. We finished off the trip with a bad case of stomach flu which helped me lose the 10lbs I gained from eating Jon's cinnamon rolls all week. Since then we have been spending a lot of time on the Wave runner at Folsom lake. I am at my max sun capacity and look like a giant freckle but totally worth it. I took the kids to get their hair done the other day. Irelynn got a super cute A-line, Kalaya got a streak of purple and pink in her hair and I totally get the stares like look what that mother did to her daughter but I like it and Cyril got his first hair cut. We buzzed the whole thing because I hate silky baby boy hair. He looks like a little man now and I just want to eat him. Well that's the summer update more to come i'm sure