Well...

Well...my 30 days didn't go so great apparently I guess I have to start over! I just have had so many boob problems I figured you didn't want to hear about them everyday so I waited until my clogged ducts and mastitis cleared up. I did have to give up my mom of the year award when I let Cy fall asleep in the shower dont judge I needed a break so I could clean a little. I was trying to keep him awake until Kalaya went to preschool and I like putting my babies in the shower because I know they won't drown and it gives me a break. They have all loved it and Cy loved it a little too much! And I found out I'm allergic to Shrimp...I have the biggest hives and my chubby arms and hands are so swollen I feel like my forearms are choking out my hands. They're like sausages which makes typing not so fun!

TMI

Let me apologize in advance because this will be TMI but it's all I can think about because my boobss hurt soooooooo bad. I cut CY off cold turkey yesterday. I am so sad to be done nursing but he will be 10 months on sunday and he won't stop biting me. I've tried everything anyone has told me. I've removed him from me, flicked he's cheek(several times probably daily) and suffocated him in my boob when he bites. He seems to get great pleasure when I cry out in pain. He laughs and tries to go back to nursing and my poor boobs have had enough. But now that it's been 24 hours I miss it. I miss his little hand rubbing my sides and chest and reaching up and touching my face while he eats. I want to give in so bad and just deal with the biting but then I will have tortured him for the last 24 hours for nothing and besides he is taking a bottle just fine. I still hold and caress him while he has the bottle so he doesn't feel totally abandoned. I don't think my skin can stretch any farther. Is this what fake boobs feel like? Because I thought I wanted some after I've had all my kids but now I'm re-thinking that business....on a positive note I look like I am 19 again with my perky non-national geographic boobies flopping around or should I say not flopping around.

P.S. Kasey no ZUmba for me tonight I couldn't dance around with this bazookas I'd give you and the instructor a black eye for sure!

P.S.

I just came across this blog it's interesting check it out http://chroniclesofjanew.blogspot.com

Goodbye my love

Dear Caffiene,
I have enjoyed our time together. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. When I crawl out of bed on a hard morning you are all I want and I don't even need you in drink form. I'm not picky I even like you in excederin. The rush of energy you give me is amazing. My house has never been so clean! But you are starting to be too controling. When we are not together you send me headaches trying to reel me back into your grasp. And when I try to sleep at night you keep me awake with mindless prattle running around in my brain. And so it is with heavy heart and a messy house that I must say goodbye.....tomorrow...

Swamp Thing

So tonight me and the kids are enjoying some take & bake pizza and I started reminissing (is that how you spell it?) I dated a guy who had to have pizza and rootbeer every friday night. My most embarassing moment happened with this guy. He was a skater and he used to make out with my best friend all the time. I take that back I think they made out like twice...any way I was going to have a picnic with him at this romantic park where there is a lake with a little waterfall and ducks to feed. I had borrowed my friends clothes because I had spent the night at her house. PLus she had made out with him so I figured those clothes worked for her why not me? SHe was a skater chick and I wasn't used to the baggy pants with the crotch between your knees. So here we are at the park walking towards the lake/waterfall. There was a 3 foot high rock wall that wrapped around the pond and big boulders that made their way across the pond. In my moment of brillance I thought I know what will really impress him I'm going to jump up onto the wall and jump across the boulders to the other side. WHat I didn't take into account was the low crotch that didn't allow for much movement. As soon as i jumped the crotch caught me and turned me upside into the water! I was now doing a hand stand trying to save the last but of dignity I tried pushing myself up only to slide fully into the water and roll down the waterfall. The waterfall helped to collect all of the duck poo in one area...right where I was. I came up out of the water covered in make-up and duck poo and my date made me ride in the back of his truck the whole way home...which was to his home not mine for some reason...He let me shower at his moms house and gave me some clothes...not the high light of my dating career. Good thing I was a little more gracefull when I met Troy

I'm dreaming of a white christmas

Could it really be true? Am I really trying to talk Troy into moving to.....UTAH?@!??
I think I want the slow pace that Utah life brings but do I really want the Utah mormons that it brings as well? I can't figure it all out tonight but I think I am dreaming of a white Christmas....

His Hands....

Dear Troy's Sisters,
I am giving you fair warning to stop reading any farther on this post as it might cause your stomachs to turn queezy...Troy came home yesterday with his hands covered in blisters and had a huge gash in them and yet he woke up early again to go to work without complaint. How can I not say something?

These hands of his once embarassed to touch my skin because of a stupid girl who criticized their roughness...have become the most beautiful hands on the earth to me. Blisters and a large gash cover these hands from days of strenuous labor in the hot sun to provide a roof over my head and time during the day to be the one my children come to to kiss their boo-boos. I've watched these hands play tea parties and have picnics. Never are these hands to tired to play with his adoring kids. These hands have wiped away my tears when I feel unattractive or scared. These hands have made me breakfast in bed and played with the kids so I might sleep in. Best of all these hands have made me feel so proud when I am the one holding them. May these hands never feel embarassed because they have produced 1 hell of a MAN!!!

I hate computers

Ok I hate computers I don't know what just happened but I took a bunch of pictures so I can add them to my blog I walked out of the room and when I came back in there was a box that said all your photos have successfully been deleted...WHAT?!?!? I have no clue what to do. I don't speak or read geek so even calling my brother to help me is no use. He starts talking geek to me and I zone out. Really I should be banned from computers. A couple weeks ago I tried to pirate some music for my mom (my first mistake I admit) anyway I ended up downloading a virus that wipes your computer clean. My moms poor husband had been working on their taxes for weeks...I think I was cut out of the will for that one!

30 Day Challenge

So my adoring fans have been giving me crap for my terrible blogging skills. Apparently I need to write more. That's it you've done it. I am now going to give you way more information about me than you ever could imagine. I am going to blog everyday for 30 days....hopefully I can keep you entertained. Which really is the reason I take a hiatus from blogging. I want to be funny when I write and have things to say so we'll see how it goes..

I do want to write about my little Kalaya so I can keep this like a journal entry. I have a big mural (really just a butterfly and sky tattoo covering up an ex husbands name and not so well by the way) on my lower back. Side note: I got my ex's name when I was 19. I was so proud to come home and show my older brother who had a lot of tattoos and was just coming back to church. When I showed him what I had done I'll never forget his reaction. He had a game in his hand and he threw it against the wall and started to cry which wasn't the reaction I expected. He told me "you have no idea what you just did. When I was in the presence of the Lord I wanted to rip my skin off and hide. I was so ashamed of my skin" my brother was not going to church for a good 12 years of his life and miracously came back. I knew something special brought him back but this is the only clue he has ever given to his sacred experience and we have never talked about it since. I still thought it was an over reaction. I never regretted getting my cover-up and never thought about removing it but never forgot his words. Flash forward to looking at my Irelynn with pen tattoos drawn on her beautiful clean skin. I knew what my brother was talking about. Her once clean beautiful skin was ugly and discolored and at that point I knew what I had to do...BRAIN WASH! I tell my kids all the time that my skin is ugly because tattoos are ugly and they have such pretty skin. I thought the brain washing was going pretty well until this conversation with my 2 yr old:
Kalaya: Whats that on you back?
me: Mommy was a bad girl and made her skin all ugly but I wish I had pretty skin like you
Kalaya: I a bad girl
Me: No you are a good girl with pretty skin
Kalaya: No I a bad girl I hate my dad I need a tattoo...

I'm praying that we both make it out alive in her teenage years!